Still Mouring

Last week past the one year anniversary of when we found out we could not adopt Sweet Pea.  A year has lessened the pain but for me the wound is still deep.  Some times I want to hire a family researcher to find out what happened, but I fear what the results would be.  Is she alive or dead?  Did she develop additional medical conditions?  Did the authorities give up hope that anyone was coming for her?  My greatest fear is that we would find out that she is once again adoptable.  We couldn't do it.  Right now we just couldn't add another child to the family and that would kill me. 

All I can hope is that my prayers get to her and somehow she know that my love travels around the world to her.  Mother Mary, protect my baby girl.