Zero Tolorance?

I love Cub Scouts/ Boy Scout. This program has built into everything that American boys need to be learning: teaching children to be brave, active, and honorable. American schools leave alot to be desired, though. I am so upset to see this news story.


Boy, 6, Faces Reform School for Carrying Camping Utensil to School
First Grader: 'I Wasn't Really Trying to Get in Trouble'
By CHRIS CUOMO, SUZAN CLARKE and SARAH NETTEROct. 13, 2009

A Delaware mother whose 6-year-old son was suspended for 45 days for carrying a camping utensil to school is speaking out against the suspension and saying he should not have to face reform school as a consequence.


Debbie Christie's son Zachary, a first-grader at Downes Elementary School in Newark, Del., was suspended for carrying a camping utensil that contained a spoon, fork, bottle opener and knife to school.

"I wasn't really trying to get in trouble," 6-year-old Zachary said. "I was just trying to eat lunch with it."

"I got a call from the principal, telling me to come down, that Zach had carried a dangerous weapon into school and was going to be suspended," Christie told "Good Morning America" today.

School administrators deemed Zachary to be in violation of their zero-tolerance ban on weapons, and he may have to attend the district's reform school.
The decision has been widely criticized as being too harsh, and Christie started a Web site with a petition of support that has garnered more than 29,000 signatures.
"They are using black and white rules and applying them to everybody," Christie said, "and there is a lot of damage to the kids that happens in between who are innocent victims of this zero-tolerance policy. "

George Evans, the president of the Christina School Board, defended the decision to suspend Zachary, citing student safety, but he told The New York Times that the board might make changes to its regulations for cases involving younger students.

His parents bought Zachary the camping utensil for his trips with the Cub Scouts. They said Zachary has always been an enthusiastic student.
"Most fun is having to do work," he said, "and playing all that fun stuff and work and recess and math and science and all that and reading."

School policies should be a tools to manage student and teacher actions. However this is not a tool but a tyrant-- something used to bludgeon this child and possibly harm him worse by exposing him to discipline and behavior problem at his "reform school ."

Decision Made

We found out, shortly after the last post, that another family had requested information about one of the kids that we were interested in. Since they were equally desirable to us we decided to get the other child's medical records looked at. The whole time we were trying to make a decision, we said if there was something that would make one child harder to place, we would pursue that child.

His records came back without anything unexpected on them, so we are asking our agency to register us in Stavropol so that we can adopt him. It's a big change from Ekat, which is known for being difficult and slow. I'm hopeful that the speed in which the process will speed up considerable.

The doctor had many encouraging things to say about this little boy, including the fact that the Russian doctors imply that he is healthy because they immunized him, and they wouldn't do that if they thought he was sickly. He was also developmentally right on target at the time of the medical report.

By the way, we used Dr. Jerri Jenista and really liked her. She cut right to the chase and let us know if there were any issues.("You see all this stuff? It's meaningless. Ignore it.") I also really like that she is local and we could actually see her in the future.

A Giggle for You

This is only funny because it is so true.

Hard Decisions

Sadly there is no time out period after losing a referral. We know that we are called by God (and who am to argue) to adopt. I feel a little bit like the Blue brothers "We're on a mission from God!" At our request our agency sent out possibilities almost right away. Right now we are examining the files of two wonderful kids. Their medical histories are more complex that Sweet Pea's was, but we could choose either one of them. There are two main problems: 1.) in order to choose one, we have to say no to the other. Still, we could get past that except that Charlie and I are leaning in opposite directions.

That's just not fair.

The thing is there are no criteria for choosing one other the other. Their medical conditions are different, but equally complicated. We physically have space for either. They are both very cute and personable. We would have to re-do some paperwork for either child. There are no straight forward answers. I will keep praying and hope we receive guidance.

Can I Live?

Popular culture is so anti-life, I'm always so thrilled when an entertainer braves going against popular opinion and delivers a pro-life message.

Love and Pain

I have never before lost a child, and some may argue that I did not. I think that they are wrong. When you adopt you promise to love you child as if he was a biological child and that's what we did. We loved all our children from the moment that we knew that they would join our family. We planned and dreamed for them. We put together their bedroom and wondered how each child would add to the family. We found doctors and bought clothes. There are nine months of possibilities and potential to celebrate. The point is that the love and connections starts long before a child comes home to live with you. We did not hold back with Sweet Pea. In my mind she wasn't someone who would one day join the family. She was my child living far away.

So now we are mourning the loss of that piece of the mosaic. Our family will grow and will fit together, but it won't be the way I expected. The shape will always be different. I imagined Pookie and Sweet Pea being best friends and terrorizing the boys. I imagined the whole world opening up to her in ways that won't be available in Russia. Nothing could hold her back from a normal life here, so much there can. I won't see her smile or see her first steps

Tuesday night I laid down with the quilt my mom had made for Sweet Pea. It's a photo quilt with pictures of the family so that she could see us all the time between trips. I cried and prayed. I have no idea if she is healthy or sick. I don't know why someone would deem her unadoptable or if maybe someone in Russia wanted to adopt her. (Would that be wonderful?)

I feel so guilty, too. I feel as though I failed her. First of all, her chances of reaching her full potential are very limited in Russia. There are so many orphans and the system is heavily burdened. Many of the orphanages struggle to meet the basic needs of the children in their care, much less pay for very expensive prosthetic limbs and rehabilitation. (Just one leg can cost over $10,000 in the United States.She needs two and they would need to be replaced every year until she about 5 and then every other year thereafter.) Second, you don't just abandoned the people you love. You certainly don't say, "Too bad. so sad. Who else do you have?" But that is exactly what we have to do. Do we quit? No. We still feel like this is the path we are called to. Do we want more children? Yes. Are there still children in Russia who need families? Yes.

Ironically, Tuesday was the feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. Well, I guess She understands.

Terrible News

We began this adoption journey nine months ago, and when we did we always knew that there was the chance that something would happen and we wouldn't be able to adopt her, but I never really believed it. Today our wonderful social worker called and said that she had just been informed that Sweet Pea had been moved into a specialized Baby home and was no longer available for adoption. She went on to say that usually this happens when a child is seriously sick although the agency had no indications that this is the case. I asked if this was something that was likely to change, but she said no. It seems that we will have to abandon the dream of bringing this child into our family.

She was never officially ours, but I am mourning the loss of our Sweet Pea.