Friday, October 30, 2009

God's Consolations

Want to hear something really weird? I'm in two e-mail support groups-- one for those adopting children with limb differences another for children with amputations. They are both very active, and I may get up to 25 messages a day. During the couple of weeks after we heard about Sweet Pea I stopped getting messages from those groups. As soon as we made a decision about Little Bit the message started coming again.

I think it was god not giving me more than I could handle.

Little Bit

So- at least for now- we have been calling our new little guy Little Bit. (We don't want to call him by the name we have choosen until we have travel dates.) I can't even tell you how adorable he is. His smile just melts you. The agency sent three photos with his medicals, and later they sent a baby picture as well. In the baby picture he looks about three months old. I'm so thrilled to get that baby picture. So many people who adopt have no idea what their child looked like in infancy. This is a huge gift. Using a Russian photolisting we have also found a picture that we think is him. It is more recent than the ones from the agency. I'm looking forward to seeing if we got it right.

The boys are very excited to be getting a new brother. Even more so than about Sweet Pea. Little Bit has the same birthday as Wonder Boy and Wonder Boy loves it. "We'll be like twins, huh, Mom?" (Except for that five year age difference, sure, Son.)

Ironically, I've gotten rid of most of our toddler boy clothes. We saved most of our stuff for so long, since we thought we'd need it for future children but have run out of space and I've had to start selling and donating things. We thought we were going to have another girl, so . . . well the best laid plans and all.

Wearing Me Down

We have been dilly dally-ing getting all this paperwork going again. After the monumental disappointment of losing Sweet Pea it was hard to get motivated to start diving through hoops again. I think we are back on track though. I have contacted everyone and now I'm just waiting to get papers back from all parties involved. This includes:
- our family doctor (5 appointments)
- the city assessor
- the mortgage company
- Charlie's HR department (twice-- three time really since the first time they didn't quite do what we asked the first time)
- new document from the homestudy agency
- new police checks
- a psychiatrist
- a CPA

In adoption it's more than "Here, jump through these hoops." It's "Wait, let me set the hoops on fire before you jump. Try not to get singed."

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Meghan changed my life

About three years ago I attended a women's conference and one of the speakers was a woman named Ellen Salter. Ellen's young daughter, Meghan, is seriously incapacitated for unknown reasons. She is unable to move on her own or communicate with others. Meghan requires constant nursing care to make sure continues to breathe. She has had multiple surgeries in her short life and has nearly died several times.

One might be tempted to say, "Poor dear, what kind of life can that be? " Let me assure you Meghan in an active member of her family. They make sure she is included in family events. They even converted the living room into her bedroom so she can be in the middle of all the action.

It was hearing about Meghan that made me understand that out intrinsic value as humans is not in what we do or accomplish in life. Meghan is valuable because she is Meghan. She doesn't need to cure cancer or become the president. All she has to be is be.

Meghan opened my eyes to the value of all God's children. Not that I look back I can see how hearing Ellen Salter planted the seeds for me to be able to pursue special needs adoption. What a gift!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month

In light of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I thought I'd look into some disturbing facts that I've heard about.

1. Susan G. Komen affiliates donate quite a lot of money to Planned Parenthood. Komen states that the national organization does not give money to Planned Parenthood and that the money given is not for abortions. In my opinion, though, that is not enough. Any money given to one area of Planned Parenthood let the organization shift other money to providing abortions. If it were me I would want NOTHING to do with an organization like that. The end does not justify the means. We can't do good (providing cancer screening for some) at the expense of being complicit in evil.

2. There may be a link between breast cancer and abortion. Many researchers have questions, although result are not conclusive.

3. There may also be a link between using birth control pills and breast cancer. Breast cancer is highly influenced by hormones, and any substances that manipulate the body's natural hormone level could increase cancer risk.

I bring these things up for a couple of reasons. No one has to do any of these things. No one has to donate money to Komen (although it can be hard to avoid). No one has to have an abortion-- there are crisis pregnancy centers in nearly every community. There are are pre-adoptive parents longing for a baby. No one has to risk there health and fertility with birth control pills (and yes, I believe that birth control pills seriously hurt my fertility and made it very difficult to conceive Wonder Boy). Let's guard our physical and moral health aggressively, not only for our own sakes, but also for our family and society in general.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Thoughts on Health Care

Who looks at Medicare and says, "Wow, that's worked out so well. Sign me up. Let's see what the Federal government can do for me?"

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Zero Tolorance?

I love Cub Scouts/ Boy Scout. This program has built into everything that American boys need to be learning: teaching children to be brave, active, and honorable. American schools leave alot to be desired, though. I am so upset to see this news story.

Boy, 6, Faces Reform School for Carrying Camping Utensil to School
First Grader: 'I Wasn't Really Trying to Get in Trouble'

A Delaware mother whose 6-year-old son was suspended for 45 days for carrying a camping utensil to school is speaking out against the suspension and saying he should not have to face reform school as a consequence.

Debbie Christie's son Zachary, a first-grader at Downes Elementary School in Newark, Del., was suspended for carrying a camping utensil that contained a spoon, fork, bottle opener and knife to school.

"I wasn't really trying to get in trouble," 6-year-old Zachary said. "I was just trying to eat lunch with it."

"I got a call from the principal, telling me to come down, that Zach had carried a dangerous weapon into school and was going to be suspended," Christie told "Good Morning America" today.

School administrators deemed Zachary to be in violation of their zero-tolerance ban on weapons, and he may have to attend the district's reform school.
The decision has been widely criticized as being too harsh, and Christie started a Web site with a petition of support that has garnered more than 29,000 signatures.
"They are using black and white rules and applying them to everybody," Christie said, "and there is a lot of damage to the kids that happens in between who are innocent victims of this zero-tolerance policy. "

George Evans, the president of the Christina School Board, defended the decision to suspend Zachary, citing student safety, but he told The New York Times that the board might make changes to its regulations for cases involving younger students.

His parents bought Zachary the camping utensil for his trips with the Cub Scouts. They said Zachary has always been an enthusiastic student.
"Most fun is having to do work," he said, "and playing all that fun stuff and work and recess and math and science and all that and reading."

School policies should be a tools to manage student and teacher actions. However this is not a tool but a tyrant-- something used to bludgeon this child and possibly harm him worse by exposing him to discipline and behavior problem at his "reform school ."