We've been a holding pattern for the past few weeks in regards to sending in the paperwork for Sweet Pea because our homestudy agency is on the Ministry of Education's list of agencies with delinquent post placement report (MOE blacklist). The agency said everything was sent in and they were just waiting to hear from Russia. That hopefully it would be "soon." I just knew that all we had to do was wait until the next list was released. The new list was released yesterday and our agency was still on it.
My heart cracked a little.
I have lost faith in the agency and their ability to resolve this issue in a timely manner or to be honest and upfront about what they are doing. Our communications have gotten less friendly and have been full of butt covering lawyer-speak (sorry, sister of mine, but no one can use so many words and say so little as a lawyer.)
We are going to pursue getting our homestudy transferred to another agency. Then we'll have to redo everything that has expired (for the second time). Maybe then we'll be back on track.
Is this a test to see if we are really committed to this child? Maybe God and Russia really want to see if we mean it. We do. I thought briefly about changing regions or countries after my placing agency said we could if we want to. No. If we did that, for the rest of my life I would feel like I had abandoned my child. I am committed to Sweet Pea, not Ekat (the region-- city really), not Russia, but to her.
I pray everyday to the Holy Mother to intercede for us, as one mother to another. I pray that our path will be cleared and we will be able to bring this little girl home. I pray that we will be strengthened so that we can surmount the obstacles in front of us. I guess I will just have to keep praying.